Tag: positivity

Echo XXV

I am only one, but I am one. I cannot do everything, but I can do something. And I will not let what I cannot do interfere with what I can do.
– Edward Everett Hale

I started a new job, moved across the country, and left most everything I know to start fresh. Been on hiatus for a while, time to recollect. Let’s try again.

While digging through a stash of old corporate wellness materials, I stumbled upon a book written by Nancy Jane Smith called, “The Happier Approach.” It honestly reminds me of one of those free books you’d get at church during the Easter season, or from a self-help seminar, or in one of those little lending library kiosks you see in small towns. The cover art is very basic, and said cover art looks like it was printed in 480p. Yet, I’ve thoroughly enjoyed working my way through it (insert lesson on not judging a book by it’s cover).

One idea that Nancy works through has stuck with me – the idea that accomplishing a goal will provide a sensation of calm and quiet, that we should be overwhelmed with relief that we accomplished something. Yet, rarely is this the case. That focus moves from the task at hand, flies past the joys of completing it, and transfers into the anxiety and stress of what is next.

Her justification for this is that we are validating internal needs with external stimuli. Meaning, the internal feeling of anxiety or stress or fatigue or exhaustion isn’t magically fixed by an external factor. Its the same idea behind “I need a drink!” after a stressful day. It’s a band-aid in lieu of stitches.

We are on this constant quest for perfection. 10 things on the to-do list? If we do 9 but miss the 10th, we feel more guilt about missing it than pride in accomplishing the other 90%. We fear the ridicule from our brain for missing the one shot more than we long for the joy of bullseye’ing the others. The quest for protection protects us from the fear of failure, but it also blinds us of the little victories.

What if we don’t realize the life’s first 9 until we miss the 10th? Think of all the little victories you’ve let slide by because you missed that last task. Entire house is clean but the dishes are still soaking – failure. All of the bills, but you forgot the light bulbs you needed on your shopping trip – fail. The kiddos had perfect attendance at soccer this week, but you were 15 minutes late to that birthday party – fail.

Don’t let the idea of constantly moving the finish line further and further away cloud your view of the miles you’ve already run. Take a step back and see how far you’ve come. See the successes in simply living, breathing, being.

Echo XXIV

“Life is true to form; records are meant to be broken.”
– Mark Spitz

I’ve been finding myself falling into a hole lately, one based in self-doubt and uncertainty. Loneliness, fatigue, poor choices, restless nights, so many things so quickly and easily compound these feelings. We watch our friends excel in things, whether it be financially, personally, professionally, romantically, the list goes on. We browse post after post of the “perfect life” on social media.

Yet, you are exactly where you’re supposed to be.

Whether you believe in fate or destiny or nothing at all, the place where you currently stand is exactly where you’re supposed to be. Yes, your circumstances can and are impacted by things like your choices, words, and actions, but those things all culminate in where you currently are. If you see things that need improving, take quantifiable steps to improve upon them. If you’re financially burdened, look into ways to better budget your money, pickup a side hustle like Uber Eats or crafts on Etsy. If you’re struggling with your being, find things that make you feel whole – reignite passions for old hobbies, start going to church, splurge on a gift for yourself, take your kids to the park that you’ve been thinking about.

Circumstances are not entirely yours to choose but they are entirely yours to embrace. Change comes intrinsically before anything else. If you can’t identify and work towards fixing things within yourself you’ll never be able to fix those outside yourself.

It is a constant struggle to allow yourself to simply be. Its much easier to compare to others and their journeys, compare our struggles and victories against their own. This does nothing but diminish your own efforts and provide them with nothing. Your thoughts, unless you reach out to Joe Schmo and tell him how much you love his life and hate your own, simply fall on deaf ears other than those of your own. Comparing your being to others has no positive impact barring the possibility it sparks a fire that pushes you to grow.

Seeing others and using it as inspiration is not the same as seeing others and using it as comparison. We are all on our own paths, keep your eyes on yours and yours alone.

Echo XX

“When we strive to become better than we are, everything around us becomes better, too.”
– Paulo Coelho

With this being the holiday season, the season of giving, we start to see an influx of people allocating time to volunteering, donating goods or funds to charities, or simply being friendlier to a stranger for the sake of “good will.” When we do these things, we only partially do them for the good it does the entity whom we are providing to – we do it because it gives us just as much benefit. We find self-worth in helping those less fortunate, or a smile from throwing a few bucks in the Salvation Army bucket outside Walmart.

While this may be a seasonal thing for some, it is a lifelong desire for all. Every single one of us aspires to be better. Your aspirations could be as basic as drinking less pop or eating less fast food, all the way to finding a new career to alleviate personal or financial stress. We all long for this sense of betterment, and with it comes an overwhelming “sprinkler” effect on the people and environment around us.

This shared improvement could be something like being able to more easily provide for your family, buy more gifts for your kids, or simply keep the lights on. Or, you could improve the workload and efficiency of other employees by joining their time and bring personal experience and talent to an otherwise droning workplace. The light you bring with you to any situation could be the light that brightens the tunnel, leads others to the clean, crisp air.

As we head into the New Year, keep these things in mind. Your goals of losing 20 pounds could have a snowball effect that provides you an easier daily workload or a few extra years of life to play with your grandkids. Waking up an hour earlier to knock out some of your group’s work or assignments could be the inspiration needed for others within the group to pick up their own pace. Your choice to quit eating fast food could lead to a healthier, and happier, life for your children or spouse.

A tree doesn’t simply go upwards as a single stalk – it grows branches, leaves, provides a safe place for birds and animals, and shade to those underneath it. Consider your birds and animals when contemplating change.

Echo XV

“Often when you think you’re at the end of something, you’re at the beginning of something else.”
– Mr. Fred Rogers

With today being National Kindness Day, I felt it only appropriate to pay homage to one of the best humans to ever grace this Earth. One who I, and possibly you, grew up watching. Someone who helped us find our dreams, morals, and passions through his words and adventures.

We have grown to become end-seeking entities. We strive to find the end of hard times, or to finally be successful, or to stop feeling sad. We struggle to see that all of these things may be beginnings – the first step to a better life, the realization you want more, a positive change. We see life as the fight to find an end, an outcome, rather than a constant series of new beginnings. We see sadness over a break-up as the end of something we found happiness in, rather than the beginning of something possibly even better. It presents an opportunity to find ourselves, to fix things that we need to fix. We realize our major isn’t what we had hoped for an contemplate changing, seeing it as a failure rather than the ability to start again in a program where we find our happiness.

It isn’t easy to see the cup half full when you feel like said cup is cracked and you’re riding a rollercoaster, but we have to try. The easiest way to see something in a better light is quite simple – see it in a better light. Find the silver-linings, take a page from the book written by the cardigan’d wonder. Be kind to your neighbors. Say hello to a stranger. Not only are we responsible for embracing our own beginnings, we must try to help others find theirs. A simple hello may be the factor that makes someone see today as a beginning rather than an end.

See the endings as the beginning of something even better.