Echo V

“No one will believe in you unless you do.”
– Dr. Ivan Joseph

This is, and will continue to be, a common theme throughout Echoes. You are your biggest fan, best friend, closest ally, but also your toughest critic, hardest judge, and darkest enemy. Your words are the first and most profound thing to impact you as a whole. If you can’t find some wedge of belief in your own self, affirmation and love from others will never truly have an impact.

I heard Dr. Ivan Joseph’s TED talk on my way to work this morning. He is an extremely well spoken yet simple speaker, in the best of ways. This 14 minute talk was one that anyone could understand and grow from. These are my favorite sources of inspiration as anyone can grow from them. I want to build off of two things he said that not only relate directly to this Echo, but also to your own sense of being and light.

Dr. Joseph spoke on a list next to his mirror of things that make him who he is. Other humans will always find things to belittle you about, it is easy for people to make fun of your hair, your height, your clothes, your wealth, the list of easy targets is never-ending. To combat this, he places a list next to his bathroom mirror of things he is proud of, things he has accomplished that he deems to be crucial to his existence.

Secondly, and more importantly, Dr. Joseph carries a letter that he wrote to himself everywhere he goes. It may not be read for months or years, but it is always accessible when needed. It is simple – it is a basic reminder of who he is, what he has done, and where he came from. Thanking and congratulating himself for things that make him who he is: his educational successes, being a proud father and loving husband, a national championship winning coach, the list goes on. He willingly admits that he has had times in his life when he almost wore through this letter from how many times he read it, how many times he had to convince himself that he is who he wants to be. He jokingly states he has no idea how some kid that loved soccer and science became a Ph.D and National Championship winning coach. Yet he did, and deserves to be reminded of it.

So, I challenge you to do the same. Write yourself some notes on why you are who you are. It can be as simple as a list on a sticky note, or you can type up an elaborate dissertation and laminate it. The themes remain the same. Humans are much more likely to believe something they read, something tangible, than simple words. Tell yourself you’re beautiful, remind yourself of the speedbumps you have overcome to obtain your Bachelors, your Masters, even your GED, pump yourself up over those 15 pounds you’ve lost.

Echo IV

“Ask yourself every day, ‘How would the person I’d like to be do the things I’m about to do?'”
– Jim Cathcart

We recently spoke on the difference in movement and progress. With that in mind, how do we find progress?

You need to wake up with a sensation that you are better today than yesterday. Is this going to be a daily occurrence, waking up with a feeling that the prior day was monumental enough to make your present better? No, and thinking it will be is an unhealthy coping mechanism. Everyone has bad days, we just need to learn how to recuperate and turn a bad day into a good week, a bad week, into a good year, a bad year into a worthwhile life.

Your strongest ally is you. It isn’t your mom, your best friend, your therapist – its you. No matter how much these people build you up, you determine which walls stand and which fall. We have all had beautiful things said to us, things we almost felt bad hearing because they were so positive. Yet, many of us (myself included) put more stock into telling ourselves they’re “just saying that” than truly believing it.

So, we need to ask ourselves – “How would the person I’d like to be do the things I’m about to do?”

As humans, we have no issue basing our life off of someone else. We steal recipes from Facebook, we buy clothes we see on celebrities, we hate on Nickelback because everyone else does. What if we took this energy, this relatively pure form of admiration, and cast it onto ourselves. What if instead of waking up and wanting to look like Brad Pitt, have money like Bill Gates, or have a lifestyle like the Rock, we simply woke up and aspired to be ourselves in the future once we’ve gotten through the mud and dirt and came out on the other side. Why not put that energy and desire into simply wanting to be our best self?

So, I challenge you. Spend sometime today admiring your future self. Admire the successes and failures, admire how you’ve still become better and found growth. Find something specific that you’d like to achieve and admire it as if it is undoubtedly going to come to fruition in your future. Admire your beautiful house, admire your children, admire your time spent volunteering. Then, once you’re done deriving motivation from your own potential actions, act on them. Develop a plan to turn these motivational thoughts into worthwhile actions.

Lets start hanging up posters of ourselves in our psyche rather than people we deem to be successful and true. Maybe put up a Nickelback poster, too.

Echo III

“You never know how strong you are until being strong is the only choice you have.”
– Cayla Mills

Imagine a world where we could decide when life would be rough. We could prepare ourselves for it, embrace the lingering doom. We could eat a good breakfast, wear something that makes us feel confident (almost like a modern suit of armor), and tackle this beast like a Spartan wrestling a foe.

This is an unrealistic expectation.

The hardest struggles of our lives hit us when we least see them coming. This is a big reason why they’re the hardest times of our lives. We prepare for the hook and get an uppercut, expected to keep our mouthguard in and push through the blood. We are never warned when our ship hits rough seas, we must simply weather our storm. While we may feel as if we’ve lost control of our ship, we remain at power as long as we stand on it’s deck.

This is what makes us strong. This unexpected, spontaneous, terrifying reality of being smashed by an unexpected hardship is the foundation of a strong self. No one ever learned anything from easy; truths are found in the dark, in the grittiest of situations.

Imagine a lion with a perfect mane, a perfect coat of flowing hair. No scars, no bruises, no patches. Now imagine a lion with facial scars from fights where he was the obvious victor, hair missing from the surprise swipe of a paw, a fresh kill still lingering in his teeth. While both are lions, which presents a more intimidating, stronger image? Which one makes you feel the pure drive and fire to survive, to carry on regardless of the things forced onto him?

Wear your scars, wear your battles, and remember that they are the dents in your armor that have made you victorious, not simply a fighter.

Dents, not holes.

Echo II

“Don’t confuse movement with progress. My mother told me, ‘you can run in place all of the time and never get anywhere.’”
– Denzel Washington

Often times we fall into a false sense of security, feeling certain that our actions are leading to our proposed outcome. We work our day away to push our line into the green rather than the red, to heal our patients, to build our structures, etc. We feel as though this movement is progress, we are progressing on something we have deemed important to finding success and satisfaction.

But are we progressing, or simply moving?

First, I’d like to set the precedent as to the meaning behind movement and progress in the simplest way I know possible:

Movement – an act of changing physical location or position or of having this changed; a change or development

Progress – forward or onward movement toward a destination; advance or development toward a better, more complete, or more modern condition

So, let’s first discuss the similarities. Both can be related to a development of some sort, and both are some type of change. The differences are what we are more interested in. If you notice, progress actually includes movement in its own definition, meaning it is encompassing movement. Secondly, progress literally says it is forward or onward – movement simple states a change in position. Lastly, and most importantly, progress leads toward a “better, more complete” condition. Movement can literally be a change without any forward motion, whereas the definition of progress literally states that it has forward and positive movement.

We all have movement days. We all have days where we wake up and simply want to make it through the day and existence, or to “go through the movements.” THAT IS FINE. You are allowed to have these days, and you’re allowed to have them often. The bigger picture is that if we have a “going through the movements” day, it must culminate in a “forward progress life.” We are a summation of our smaller pieces, our entity and life being the complete puzzle. We have to find a way to progress and not just move.

If that means obtaining a new certification or degree, applying for a position you might not feel you’re qualified for, asking for that raise you know you deserve, or simply stepping out of an airplane with a parachute strapped to your back to conquer your fears – we must find ways to progress.

Our life needs to be a stream forcing its way through rock, progressing deeper and deeper until it is the defining feature between the supposedly impenetrable walls of earth. Think about it – the Grand Canyon is one of the 7 Natural Wonders of the World. Without the driving force of water progressing deeper and deeper into that red rock, there would be 6 Natural Wonders. The progress (and subsequent movement) of the water created one of the most beautiful things on this planet.

Now it’s your turn to be that stream.

Echo I

“You can’t win the war against the world if you can’t win the war against your own mind.”
– Will Smith

You are your own worst critic.

Someone else’s words and thoughts literally mean nothing in regards to your existence – unless you let them. We as humans derive so much self-worth and value through the thoughts and opinions of others. Its become human nature, though I often wonder if something that has always been really needs to “become.”

None of those things affect us unless we let them.

I speak from experience. A sense of value and self-worth is harder to come by nowadays than ever before, but I’m getting better. I’ve learned that most people will do anything to get to their proposed place of happiness, usually at the expense of others. True enlightenment is getting to that point and bringing others along with you. To captain that ship though, you must first know you’re able to navigate, steer, and command. If you can’t overcome the self-doubt and lack of self-worth, the ship simply sinks and leads to not only your drowning but all of the passengers onboard.

We are at a constant battle not only with the world itself, but with others, with time, and with ourselves. None of these battles mean a thing without your most crucial and understanding ally – yourself.

So many times we want to help others, bring positivity to the world, make strangers laugh, invent something to help others, yet we lay awake at night reaching for some sense of being. I can guarantee you this, the products you give others will never truly meet your standards if that same product isn’t given to yourself.