Echo XV

“Often when you think you’re at the end of something, you’re at the beginning of something else.”
– Mr. Fred Rogers

With today being National Kindness Day, I felt it only appropriate to pay homage to one of the best humans to ever grace this Earth. One who I, and possibly you, grew up watching. Someone who helped us find our dreams, morals, and passions through his words and adventures.

We have grown to become end-seeking entities. We strive to find the end of hard times, or to finally be successful, or to stop feeling sad. We struggle to see that all of these things may be beginnings – the first step to a better life, the realization you want more, a positive change. We see life as the fight to find an end, an outcome, rather than a constant series of new beginnings. We see sadness over a break-up as the end of something we found happiness in, rather than the beginning of something possibly even better. It presents an opportunity to find ourselves, to fix things that we need to fix. We realize our major isn’t what we had hoped for an contemplate changing, seeing it as a failure rather than the ability to start again in a program where we find our happiness.

It isn’t easy to see the cup half full when you feel like said cup is cracked and you’re riding a rollercoaster, but we have to try. The easiest way to see something in a better light is quite simple – see it in a better light. Find the silver-linings, take a page from the book written by the cardigan’d wonder. Be kind to your neighbors. Say hello to a stranger. Not only are we responsible for embracing our own beginnings, we must try to help others find theirs. A simple hello may be the factor that makes someone see today as a beginning rather than an end.

See the endings as the beginning of something even better.

Echo XIV

“To forgive is to set a prisoner free and discover the prisoner was you.”
– Lewis B. Smedes

It is a natural human function to feel distaste, anger, nausea towards those who have wronged us. When someone sets out to wrong us, whether it is purposefully or accidentally, emotionally or physically, someone you trust or a stranger – it hurts. We want nothing more than to set the record straight and burn down their house. To use our own words and actions to repay them, or to ruin their self-worth to the same extent they ruined yours. “An eye for an eye,” the law of retaliation.

When this is our course of action we bring to fruition two things.

  1. We entrap ourselves in a locked box with no positive outcomes. We gain nothing by holding a grudge, by feeling disgust, or by living a life seeking revenge. We remain living in the past rather than working to better our future.
  2. They win. If you let the actions of someone else impact you, they win. You imprison yourself in a constant circle of loss because you let their actions and doings dictate your self-being. If you let yourself be dictated by their actions, they win. Whether than set out to win or not, whether you even wanted to compete – they win.

So, why is it so hard to simply forgive? To move on and realize that these small moments don’t define us as people. Why do we feel such a blow when someone we love, someone we trust, or even a stranger, sets forth actions intended to negatively impact you? No one knows, its just a part of human nature. We feel hurt by the actions of others.

Yet, with this hurt comes the option to grow through it. To forgive our wrongdoings and become better through them. Your partner cheated? Forgive them, for you’re better off finding something worth your time. Your best friend pushed the humor line a little to far and your friendship has fallen because of it? Forgive them, I can promise you they feel worse about it than you do. No one ever said they were proud of you for your successes? Forgive them, as it does nothing but stagnate your own growth.

There is a difference in forgiving someone and forgetting their actions. You can forgive someone for the things they’ve done, but never allow yourself to fall into the trap of letting it happen again. Trust can be regained, but you must always look to keep yourself and your well-being first. Life is too short to be surrounded by negative entities. If forgiveness isn’t enough, move on – but try to forgive in the process.

Realize their actions may be due to their own demons. They broadcast their own issues onto you to avoid facing themselves. Develop empathy towards the ill-willed. Try to find a silverlining, as hard as it may be. The ending of a relationship can lead to the beginning of a new one, a door opened by the actions of another.

I ask you to forgive. Not for your religion, not for your friends or family, not for anyone or anything else other than yourself. Set yourself free of the burden of distaste and trauma, open your cell-door and walk free.

Echo XIII

“If we each live properly, we will collectively flourish.”
– Dr. Jordan B. Peterson

Much like the beautiful masterpiece “We Are the World,” one of the highlights of both 80s music and hairstyles, says, we truly are the world. We are a collective unit on this rock, all working towards the same goal – happiness, harmony, and success. This blog will never be politically, religiously, or idealistically based. My religious beliefs, ideals, stances, etc., play no role in the thoughts I put it into these words.

Yet, it remains so true – we are all in this together. No matter your beliefs or outlook, we can’t go at it alone. We all long for family, friends, a sense of self-purpose among others. This isn’t to say we mustn’t excel in our own rights. To love someone else you must first love yourself. Yet, none of us are alone.

Nor should we want to be! The greatest feats of human power and determination were group efforts. We didn’t walk on the moon due to one person’s actions, or trek across the United States led by only one man. Humans are much like ants in that individually we are strong, stubborn creatures, yet we find success and unity through others.

Successful businesses become so through successful people. The idea may be of one – Oprah is successful because she wanted to be and made the necessary steps to reach it, Beizos and Gates the same – but the outcome is of many. While we may find success and happiness through a solo endeavor, a strong team and base of support is invaluable.

I have learned this over the past year. Without my team, I don’t know where I’d be.

Give it a try sometime – let someone in. Collectively we flourish.

Echo XII

“Well done is better than well said.”
– Benjamin Franklin

How often do you run into the problem of someone talking the talk, but struggling to walk the walk? This can be in anything, from your boss failing to lead after a required seminar on healthy leadership, to your partner saying they’ll do the dishes to lessen your load but they continue to pile up in the sink. As humans, we seek to fill a need within ourselves by making a promise of action, even if we know those words will never culminate in action.

If you say something, you must follow through. Period. Your word is everything. If you don’t put value into the things you say, wake up.

This is self-discipline. This is progress and growth. This is self-worth.

If you tell yourself that you’re done stopping at McDonalds on your way home, then stop swinging by to see ol’ McRonald. If you want to finally graduate college with your Bachelors degree, register for classes and get a side-hustle to help pay for it. If you promise your parents you’ll pay them back for some emergency loan, manage your finances enough to do so. Saying something means nothing if you don’t find the means to follow through.

Without action our words fall short. I can wake up tomorrow and say I’m an astronaut, or a doctor, or that I’m rich. Yet, am I? No. These things don’t evolve through words, they evolve through actions. Years and years of trial and error, hard work, studying – action. Successful people don’t become so through words. Successful people earn that adjective, that title, through action. The only people who literally find fame through words are motivational speakers and authors, and even they have a lifetime of actions to back them up. Well, and maybe the guys that make crossword puzzles… but regardless.

Don’t let yourself be known for words, they are worthless without a follow through. Tiger isn’t know for talking prior to the match, he is known for walking to the tee-box and winning tournaments. Life is the tournament, words are simply the press-conference following.

Echo XI

“What you get by achieving your goals is not as important as what you become by achieving your goals.”
– Zig Ziglar

I want to be rich.

I want to own a beautiful house.

I want to drive a Ferrari.

I want to travel the world.

These things are goals, albeit common yet extreme goals. Everyone wants to be successful and have lots of money and lounge around all day while your stocks and bonds pay your bills. Yet, what do we get from it? Are we looking to achieve these goals for the shallow reason of simply being successful? Or are we looking to reach these goals to become a better person, a more helpful person, a better role model for others?

In 2018, Jeff Bezos gave over 2 billion dollars do charity.

Bill and Melinda Gates gave 4.2 billion.

These are two of the most successful humans to ever walk the Earth (if we classify success based on wealth and global impact), yet they found the time to spread their success to others. They became their goals by achieving their goals.

I don’t mean to say that you need to be rich to make change, to grow. If your goal is to lose 20 pounds by Summer, make that goal more specific to include the fact that a lower body-weight will not only make you feel more confident, but allow you an easier time playing with your kids. If your goal is to alleviate credit card debt over the next 2 years, realize that this frees up funds to continue your education, take your family on vacation, or send your kiddo to Summer Camp. Your goal could be as simple as not being late to work again, knowing this not only lessens your risk of unemployment but makes you a better employee.

Don’t strive for success simply for the sake of being successful; strive for success to be a better.

Echo X

“Never give up, never surrender, and rise up against all odds.”
– Jesse Jackson

Lets talk adversity. Adversity is simply a cool buzzword for the difficulties and hurdles we face in life. Someone can face adversity due to a wide array of things – their home life, their surroundings, their health, the list goes on and on. Adversity has one major flow – it is deathly afraid of action.

When faced with adversity, we must take action. Adversity simply creates a more difficult path for us to travel. Adversity may throw rocks at you, it may kick your knees out from under you and punch you square in the face. What adversity doesn’t prepare for is your action. Adversity cannot defeat actions. Adversity has a glass jaw, and actions are one hell of an uppercut.

You are the captain of your ship. Not your surroundings, not your education, not your upbringing, not your parents or siblings or spouse – you, and you alone. Sure, these factors may impact your path. They may be waves in the giant ocean that is life, but even an inexperienced captain can handle rough seas (where do you think experienced captains come from..?). Let life throw things your way, but know that none of it will change your course.

While you may not be able to dictate the things life throws at you, you are allowed and capable of dictating how you handle them. You can either succumb to the pressure and fall, or you may rise and act. Even if you do fall, it is irrelevant if you choose to rise once more.

Adversity is ill-prepared against action.

Actions are the salt to the ice that is adversity. A little bit of salt can melt a whole lot of ice, a little bit of action can overcome a whole lot adversity.

Echo IX

“Success is not final, failure is not fatal: it is the courage to continue that counts.”
– Winston Churchill

Failure has become the most taboo piece of human nature. We fear failure, we laugh at those who have failed, we spend time ignoring the failures to pursue the success. Failure has become less empowering than success, and that is an issue. Sure, success is the ultimate goal – we long for it in every move we make. The money, the cars, the stability. Yet, we ignore the process required to find success.

Abraham Lincoln lost in 26 separate campaigns before he was elected to public office.

Michael Jordan was cut from his high school basketball team.

Steven Spielberg was rejected from USC’s School of Theatre, Film, and Television 3 separate times.

Yet, do we know these people for their failures? No, we know them for their successes – their changing of the world as we know. The Emancipation Proclamation, the free-throw line dunk, “E.T. phone home.” We don’t see these people and think of their failures, we see them and envision our own success and happiness. Yet, they’d be the first to tell you that what they have and what they’ve made weren’t by luck or skill. They were made through passion, hard-work, and countless failures.

We need to get back to a place where failure empowers us more than the thought of success. Our failures should teach us, motivate us, and drive us to success. They should be the stepping stones to the top, the ripples leading to a wave. Failure should be an exciting learning experience; failure shouldn’t be feared or ridiculed, it should be respected.

Folks don’t race Pike’s Peak for the ease and simplicity, they race it for the turns, corners, and grit. We should treat life the same, embracing the tight curves, the hard bumps, the gravel, knowing it is taking us to the top.

Echo VIII

“Life is like riding a bicycle; to keep your balance, you must keep moving.”
– Albert Einstein

How often do you hear people complain about not having time? How often do you say you can’t because of a lack of time, or prioritize based on time? This is balance. As humans, we are constantly searching for a sense of balance. I’m speaking in the hypothetical sense of the word, not the “I can’t stand on one foot for more than 8 seconds” sense.

We are always longing for balance. We schedule our lives based around the hope that it will result in balance. Sadly, we often fail to find it. We prioritize our work, often times leading to neglect elsewhere. We miss out on opportunities and memories trying to please those who indirectly feed us. We sacrifice things in hopes of a more stable and balanced future, we sacrifice the now for a better then. We struggle to say no to others, and our balance begins to shift.

Yet, we still find a way to seek it. It is an undying desire of the human race to find balance. We long for it. You often hear, “I just haven’t had the time lately.” YOU must find the time, as it will never find you. Time is way too busy to seek you out, its your responsibility to find it. We offset our work time with movies and video games, we long for the subtle crunch of leaves under our feet while hiking. We have to find ways to offset the “musts” in life with the “wants.”

The issue arises when we fail to do so. We become stagnant – we lack movement. Once we stall, once we come to a stop, we become unbalanced in all aspects. Our feet don’t reach the ground and our bike falls over. Our priorities change, our mindset struggles, our outlook declines. We must maintain this sense of balance to survive. A slight slip of the foot is never a bad thing; imbalance keeps us on our toes and aware. It is how we recover from this imbalance, and become aware to the things that caused it.

Finding balance is crucial, but don’t let the path to finding it supersede life itself. You can’t catch yourself if at first you don’t fall.

Echo VII

“We must have perseverance and above all confidence in ourselves. We must believe that we are gifted for something, and that this thing must be attained.”
– Marie Curie

Born in 1867, Marie Curie thrived in a so-called “man’s world” and accomplished many things. For one, she was a two-time Nobel laureate in two different scientific disciplines (Physics & Chemistry). She was raised poor, but with core values invested in education and self-improvement.

This is a quote that speaks on dedication, and those who lack dedication are generally those living in dissatisfaction. People dissatisfied with their jobs, income, social-status, or self-proclaimed definition of “success”. If only they had dedication – instead of being upset with their situation, they’d rather be motivated to change it.

We have all lacked dedication at one point in our lives.

We tend to drift away from painful things, and instead gravitate to whatever gains us pleasure, but to what end? Dedication comes from having a purpose, which then gives our lives both meaning and direction. Gravitating to whatever fix you need is just wandering, and those without direction simply wander.

Now having confidence in yourself, that’s comes with a different context – or does it? I view confidence as something that fuels your dedication, and any advances you make toward the thing you are dedicated to, will fuel your confidence. It’s a cycle.

If you find you are struggling with confidence, dedication, self-improvement, or navigating through the mundane, I suggest you start creating tasks for yourself.

During my times of greatest depression, I found that just making my bed in the morning helped me feel as though I had accomplished a task.. i.e. making advancements => fueling confidence => fueling dedication.

So what are you gifted for? What is your higher purpose, and will you start building the dedication to attain it?

Alissa Geisse is a Ph.D. Student at THE Ohio State University, in the Dept. of Evolution, Ecology, and Organismal Biology. She is a patent holding, Graduate degree obtaining, inspirational badass who I’m very thankful for.

Echo VI

“The thing about self-discipline is that it is necessary for everything you do in your life. You have to be self-disciplined.”
– Terry Crews

The simplest ingredient to success is self-discipline. It is your responsibility to make the best decisions, to strive for the greatest outcome, to find the purest form of self. Without your own sense of self-discipline you will struggle to find the path that you seek. You will fail early, and you will fail often. I consider failure a win if it leads to growth, but without self-discipline failure is simply failure.

We often favor comfortable hells over favorable heavens.

We find comfort in the normal. We, as a human race, have decided that the easiest way from point A to point B is a straight line. I’m not speaking in a mathematical or physics based way, I’m speaking in a self-motivation and hard-work way. We would rather be good enough than great. It is easier to dwell in a comfortable hell than to try and find a favorable heaven. We accept the drowning nature of stagnancy rather than striving to swim to the surface and pull ourselves from the sea. This could be anything from accepting the fact we aren’t happy in a relationship due to the fear of being alone, accepting heart disease because exercise is just too intimidating, accepting a failing grade because studying isn’t as fun as the 12 hour Stranger Things binge.

One of my favorite mantras I’ve ever heard is from the Marines, one of the most driven, motivated, and disciplined groups of humans. Let me preface this by saying it is an extreme example, but a fantastic one nonetheless.

“Everyone wants to get into heaven, but nobody wants to die.”

While this may seem extreme to some, its the truth. We all fear the process behind success, behind growth. We find nervousness, anxiety, fear in the simple thought of change. With self-discipline, these thoughts begin to fade. If we can somehow coach ourselves to never stop fighting for what it is that we are fighting for, no one can stop us. The words, actions, and thoughts of others mean nothing to the disciplined.