Echo XIV

It is a natural human function to feel distaste, anger, nausea towards those who have wronged us. When someone sets out to wrong us, whether it is purposefully or accidentally, emotionally or physically, someone you trust or a stranger – it hurts. We want nothing more than to set the record straight and burn down their house. To use our own words and actions to repay them, or to ruin their self-worth to the same extent they ruined yours. “An eye for an eye,” the law of retaliation.

When this is our course of action we bring to fruition two things.

1. We entrap ourselves in a locked box with no positive outcomes. We gain nothing by holding a grudge, by feeling disgust, or by living a life seeking revenge. We remain living in the past rather than working to better our future.
2. They win. If you let the actions of someone else impact you, they win. You imprison yourself in a constant circle of loss because you let their actions and doings dictate your self-being. If you let yourself be dictated by their actions, they win. Whether than set out to win or not, whether you even wanted to compete – they win.

So, why is it so hard to simply forgive? To move on and realize that these small moments don’t define us as people. Why do we feel such a blow when someone we love, someone we trust, or even a stranger, sets forth actions intended to negatively impact you? No one knows, its just a part of human nature. We feel hurt by the actions of others.

Yet, with this hurt comes the option to grow through it. To forgive our wrongdoings and become better through them. Your partner cheated? Forgive them, for you’re better off finding something worth your time. Your best friend pushed the humor line a little to far and your friendship has fallen because of it? Forgive them, I can promise you they feel worse about it than you do. No one ever said they were proud of you for your successes? Forgive them, as it does nothing but stagnate your own growth.

There is a difference in forgiving someone and forgetting their actions. You can forgive someone for the things they’ve done, but never allow yourself to fall into the trap of letting it happen again. Trust can be regained, but you must always look to keep yourself and your well-being first. Life is too short to be surrounded by negative entities. If forgiveness isn’t enough, move on – but try to forgive in the process.

Realize their actions may be due to their own demons. They broadcast their own issues onto you to avoid facing themselves. Develop empathy towards the ill-willed. Try to find a silverlining, as hard as it may be. The ending of a relationship can lead to the beginning of a new one, a door opened by the actions of another.

I ask you to forgive. Not for your religion, not for your friends or family, not for anyone or anything else other than yourself. Set yourself free of the burden of distaste and trauma, open your cell-door and walk free.